I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
