'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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