i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
