hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize