there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
