Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
