at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
