My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
