Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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