the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
