i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
