He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
