the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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