Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
