im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize