I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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