Dual....:-)
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
