it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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