come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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