Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
