cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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