Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
too bad you live with your parents still
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize