Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
