M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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