did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
