I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
pray to the hookup gods
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
