He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
