I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
