I want to stick my p in your. b.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
