It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
