I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
This toilet bowl is my home.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
