is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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