I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
