Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
