3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The power of my boobs compel you
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
