FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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