Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Im part way to drunk.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize