proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
