so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
