The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
