Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
