Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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