Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
