I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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