so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize