My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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