She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
