Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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