So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
