Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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