I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
