if you like me you must not know who I am
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
