Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i would punch a child for taco bell
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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