do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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