If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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