her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
false alarm, still single
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize