they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
