How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
