did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize