the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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