So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
