guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
