If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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