Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
