your thong is hanging out like whoa
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
