I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
