capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
