Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
