Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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