Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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