OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize