Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
and you fell through a lawn chair
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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