Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
