You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
