This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Michael Bay diarrhea
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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