its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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