The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
