She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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