i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize