the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
