So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
